Catch My Breath
by Zane's Girl- Jo
Summary: She spent her life trying to prove herself; he spent his life breaking convention. He built a wall around his heart, distancing himself; she hid all emotion, shadowboxing those that got close. After an experimental serum's let loose in one of the labs & Jo's exposed, she's forced to confront Zane & that they mean something to each other- maybe more than she'll allow. Post-S4E13.
1. I Don't Wanna Be Left Behind

******Catch My Breath**

******Rifiuto: Non Mirena **

******Summary: She spent her life trying to prove herself; he spent his life breaking convention. He built a wall around his heart, distancing himself from others; she hid all emotion, shadowboxing those that got too close. After an experimental serum is let loose in one of the labs and Jo is exposed, she's forced to confront Zane and the fact that they mean something to each other- maybe even more than she'll allow. Post Glimpse.**

Bubblegum. Toast. No... Tar.

She struggled to take a breath; her gaze fell on the lab they were in. Thick, black smoke filled the room, so hot it burned her lungs and stung her eyes. It tugged at her flesh, and choked her vocal chords. She crawled towards the door, searching for anyone who could help open the doors. Fargo lay on the ground several feet away, he looked unconscious. Dr. Marbeau lay in a crumpled heap across the way, her long blond hair turned black from the smoke and soot. She appeared to be the only one conscious- but not for long, if she didn't get out and get help. Finally, her hand found the door, and she groped for the release button.

It wouldn't budge.

She climbed to her knees, reaching up to slip her fingers between the sliding doors to push them apart. She only succeeded in breaking a nail. Gasping, she slid down the door, pressing her back against it, struggling to keep from breathing in the thick smoke. She covered her mouth with her sleeve, crawling away from the door and back towards Dr. Marbeau.

"Dr... Dr. Marbeau..." She coughed, quickly checking the woman's pulse; still alive, but unconscious. The same went for Fargo and the techs as well. So far, all were unconscious- except her. Why hadn't it knocked her out too? She crabwalked away from the unconscious scientist, looking around through narrowed eyes for any way to escape the smoke. She felt as though she were lost in a warzone again, facing the unknown, the threat of the enemy under the dark cover of endless night. Memories of her time in Afghanistan came flooding back to her, and she found herself digging in her pockets for something- anything- that would help her. She found nothing but her phone, and frantically dialed a number- any number. She didn't care who picked up, just as long as she got someone.

Why isn't anyone down here, getting us out? The alarms should be blaring, my team should be down here... why isn't...

"Hello?" She choked out a gasp, diving and hitting the floor hard, the phone held to her ear. The floor rumbled, the room shook, and she buried her face in her arms as something exploded, and the crackling of fire was heard.

"Z... Zane!" She choked on the name, even as she pushed herself on her elbows towards the nearby glass testing room. Managing to make it to the bulletproof glass, she reached up, banging on it, coughing and sputtering.

"Jo? Are you all right? Where are you?" She coughed, inhaling a thick cloud of smoke.

"Zane... my team... four..."

"Jo? Jo, I can't hear you-" She cried out, ducking as the glass behind her exploded. "Jo!"

A moment passed, before she managed to crawl back towards the doors. She banged on the sliding doors, but her momentum was getting slower, her reflexes beginning to dull. "Zane... Carter..." She choked, dropping the phone as she climbed to her knees and struggled to once again pry the doors open. "Help! We... need..." She fell back into a coughing fit; the only thing that barely registered in her brain was the sound of Zane's frantic voice over the phone as she collapsed, giving in to the sweet arms of unconsciousness.

* * *

"I've got Allison readying the infirmary, and arranging for a medical team-"

"We need to know where they are, first, Carter." Allison interrupted as she rushed into Fargo's office. Rowley, Jo's second-in-command, was hot on her heels, with Blythe and Hertz following behind.

"That's what I'm checking." Zane said, as he continued his hacking into Fargo's computer.

"Who authorized the felon to be in here?" Blythe demanded, eyes wide. The others turned to the blonde. "I'm sorry, but it's not like Josie to just... up and disappear. Not without telling someone." The blonde's eyes were wide with worry and she wrung her hands.

"She went down to Level Four." Everyone turned to Hertz. "She and... Director Fargo had... were reviewing something for Dr. Marbeau. That's the last I heard from her."

"From what I can tell, they never logged out of the lab-" Zane muttered. Rowley was on the phone instantly, barking orders as Allison rushed down to get a medical team to Level Four. Alarms were sounded, and Zane pushed his way through the crowded halls as people rushed to security experiments and projects. Carter followed, keeping an eye on the petite redhead leading the charge. He lost sight of Hertz and Blythe in the mele, and eventually made it down to Level Four.

Chaos awaited. He watched as some of Jo's team managed to pry open the sliding doors, only to be confronted with billows of black smoke. Shoving through, Carter rushed headlong into the lab. He coughed, covering his mouth with his arm as he searched for any sign of Fargo or Jo. Memories of entering a cloud farm in bazillion degree weather came rushing back to him, and for a brief moment, he wished he was wearing safety goggles like he'd been that day.

"Jo! Fargo! Dr. Marbeau!" After several minutes of searching through the thick smoke, he dropped onto his hands and knees. Through narrowed eyes, he found Fargo, and rushed over to him. "We need some help in here!" Once a medical team had come to take care of Fargo and the others, he continued his search for... "Jo!" Instead of leaving her where she fell, as he'd done with Fargo and Dr. Marbeau, he pulled her too him and scooped her small form into his arms. "Jo? Jo, come on, talk to me. Jo, talk to me!" He leaned down, barely breathing, a rare heartbeat, and a weak pulse; still alive, but with half her body in the grave. He pulled her towards the doorway, carrying her into the hallway. "Jo! Come on, Josefina, don't do this to me. You can't leave me, I need you." The sheriff cradled his former deputy in his arms, and then, with a deep breath, pinched the bridge of her nose and laid his lips over hers. "Come on, Jo."

_In, out. In, out. Over and over. You need to be her lungs, breathe for her. Without you, she'll die. You can't lose her, Carter._

He didn't notice as Allison tried to push him aside to attach a respirator; he only continued to breathe for the young woman, holding tight to her. As they lifted her onto a gurney and rushed her to the infirmary, Carter found himself unable to release her hand, rushing alongside the medical personnel. His only thought, was to save her.

_Protect Jo, like you couldn't protect Stark, like you couldn't protect Kim, and Dr. Matthew, and all the countless others you've lost over the years. Protect her, save her, make this right._

By the time they reached the infirmary, he'd repeated the mantra to himself over and over. "I'm sorry, Carter, but we need to get her into surgery." And when he looked up, Allison was shutting the infirmary door.


	2. Making Time For the Ones That Count

******Rifiuto: Non Mirena **

_Induced coma. Ali put her into an induced coma._

He held tight to her hand, only vaguely listening as Allison talked, as Henry and the others talked in hushed tones. Fargo, Dr. Marbeau and the techs were stable and awake; they remembered very little about what happened, having been knocked out during the explosion. Only Jo seemed to be exposed to the thick smoke and heat that had filled the lab. From what they could piece together, she'd been trying to get help when she'd finally collapsed into unconsciousness.

"She'll wake up soon." He whispered; the others turned to watch Carter reach out and brush a stray strand of hair off her forehead.

"We have to pull her from the coma, Carter. Right now, with the state of shock her body's been exposed to, we can't risk it. It could kill her. Her body isn't strong enough yet."

"So... she might never wake up?" He choked out, tears coming to his eyes.

"I didn't say that. If we took her out of the coma now, no, she wouldn't wake up. We need to let her regain her strength first. And then we'll pull her out. Give her body time to heal first." Henry laid a hand on Carter's shoulder.

"Go head home, Carter. I'll sit with her." He shook his head.

"No. I can't leave her."

"Carter, she's not your-"

"She's as much my responsibility as Zoe is!" He snapped, wheeling on Allison. The doctor flinched, and everyone else backed up. "From the moment I moved to Eureka, I've looked on Jo as a daughter. She's the closest thing Zoe has to a sister... she's my best friend. I can't leave her. I can't lose her. I've lost so many already." No one moved, no one asked. He returned to his vigil, gently tracing the bones of her hand. "Come on, Josefina, pull through. You're strong; stronger than anyone I've ever met. You're a fighter. You can get through this. Don't let me down." He choked out a sob, tears sliding down his cheeks._ "I need you, Josefina."_ Allison closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as the strain in his voice. "Don't you dare die on me. I need you. Come on, Jo. Wake up and prove us wrong."

"Carter." He shook his head as Allison laid a hand on his shoulder. "Carter, you need to go home. Get some rest. She'll be here when you wake up tomorrow." He shook his head once, a quick jerk, before returning his attention to the woman sound asleep in the bed. The respirator providing the air for her lungs and the monitor pumping her heart beeped steadily. She was a vegetable, wired with electricity, a doll brought to life using wires and buttons.

"What happened to her?" Allison licked her lips, glancing around at the others, who waited silently.

"We... we had to scrape her lungs, they were so black. Her heart stopped..." She took a deep breath. "For little under half an hour. We opened her up and she was literally black- every organ had to be scraped clean. We had to filter and strain her blood- thank God for the technology here."

"So she... she died, for little under half an hour?" Carter choked out. Allison nodded, even though he didn't turn to look at her. "So her body stopped functioning for nearly half an hour, her brain shut down, her heart stopped, her lungs ceased, her organs failed..." He took a deep, shaky breath. "She was dead for thirty minutes... do you know what kind of brain damage this could cause?" He finally turned to Allison.

"Any number... memory loss, delayed responses, speech impairment..."

"Fix it. When she wakes up, you fix it. Whatever happens to her, you fix until she's Jo again, you got me?" He snapped. Henry stepped between the two when Carter rose and took a step towards Allison.

"We will, Jack. I promise." He whispered, and after a moment, Carter returned to his chair, taking Jo's hand and resuming his vigil. "I think it's best we all went home to get some rest." Slowly, one by one, they left, squeezing Carter's hand or whispering promises of prayers for Jo. The girls stopped by her bedside, pressing kisses to her forehead and promising to be back the next morning before leaving for home.

An hour later, Allison left after checking on Carter. She nodded to Zane in the waiting room, casting a small smile in his direction as she left. Whatever was going on between the scientist and the Head of Security- besides the midnight hookups, of which Allison and Carter were witness to Zane sneaking down the stairs of SARAH in the early morning, on more than one occasion- it was best for her not to get stick her nose in. Whatever was going on, they'd work it out in their own way, at their own time. Only now...

"You okay, Zane?" He looked up from rubbing his hands together. A small, sad smile passed over his lips, and he nodded. She waited for him to reply, but he returned to his own silent counsel. When it was clear she wouldn't get anything else from him, she left. She didn't notice the young man slip into the main infirmary and head over to Jo's bed.

"What are you still doing here, Zane?" The younger man sighed, and pulled a chair up to the other side of Jo's bed.

"I care about her, Carter." The sheriff snorted softly.

"You have a funny way of showing it, messing with my daughter while you break Jo's heart in the process." Zane swallowed.

"I'm not messing with Zoe. I never was. There was never anything between us."

"She thought there was."

"Well_ there isn't._ I told her so, a few days before she went back to Harvard. Told her it was just a fling and not even that. Just a couple friends hanging out. Nothing romantic. Told her that..." He took a deep breath. "That there was someone else, that it was serious, that I'd fallen for her-"

"Jo? She told me, you know." Carter clarified at Zane's startled look. "At the time, I didn't put the pieces together, but when she talked about her 'sister stabbing her in the back with the guy I like', it wasn't hard to figure out who she was talking about." Zane nodded.

"I never meant to hurt her, I just... it was more a passing fling than anything. A first crush."

"I know. And Zoe knows too, she's just... she needs to learn. But if you hurt her, I will not hesitate to kill you, understood?" He growled, glancing at Jo. Zane nodded, knowing that while Carter may have approved of him breaking it off with Zoe before things got too complicated, he didn't entirely approve of him going after Jo.

"Yeah. Understood." He turned his attention back to Jo, and after a moment took her hand. "Come on, Jojo. Don't leave us like this." Carter watched as Zane laced his fingers with Jo's. He turned his gaze back to Jo's sleeping form.

_See Jo, he's still in there. It'll just take you to bring him out._


	3. Laughing Hard With the Windows Down

******Rifiuto: Non Mirena **

The smell of anticeptic smothered her nose, as harsh light assaulted her fragile dark eyes. As her vision became accustomed to the light in the room, she realized she was in the infirmary. Her lungs burned with each breath and a pain shot through her heart with each beat.

"She's coming out of the coma."

Coma? When was she in a coma, and more importantly, how long?

Her dark eyes traveled slowly around the room before landing on Allison. "Jo, I'm gonna take the mask off and I want you to take slow, shallow breaths. Okay? Slow and shallow." She tried to nod, only succeeding in jerking her head slightly. Once the respirator mask was off and the oxygen tubes removed from her nose, she did as Allison instructed and took a slow, shallow breath. Her dark eyes closed in pain. It hurt to breathe; each intake felt as though a knife were grating against her lungs, stripping off pieces with each inhale and exhale. She watched Allison check her heart and pulse, the doctor gave her a small smile. "Welcome back."

She didn't respond, instead, her eyes traveled around the room, taking everything in. It was fuzzy, but she was slowly starting to remember where she was. How she'd ended up here, however, was still a mystery. Her gaze landed on Carter, who sat beside her, holding tight to her hand, dozing in the chair. She squeezed once, and he popped awake like a... well, Jack coming out of a jack in the box. "Wha..." His blue eyes lighted on Jo, and he grinned. "You're awake. Ali pulled you out of the coma-"

"She's doing good." Allison cut in from Jo's other side. "Still a little weak, still a little havoc wreaked on her lungs and heart, but other than that, she's good." Jo opened her mouth to speak, but stopped, unsure of what to say.

"You had us all worried, Josefina." He whispered, reaching up to stroke her forehead. She managed a tiny smile, eyes welling with tears, and slowly asked,

"What... hap..." She stopped, swallowing. She flinched; it hurt to swallow. Quickly, Allison helped her sit up against the pillows, and then laid a hand gently on her neck. Slowly, with the same tenderness that she used to perform open heart surgery, she began massaging Jo's throat; fingers running slowly up and down over the younger woman's voice box.

"Shh. You've been in an induced coma. Your vocal chords have been on vacation for two weeks and aren't quite up to full par yet. Just rest. I'm not going to let you strain your body when you've just come back to us." Gently, Allison continued to massage Jo's throat, talking softly with her. She told her about how Jenna was starting to stack blocks together and that Kevin had applied for early admission to MIT. Eventually, three figures slipped into the infirmary, huddled together near the doorway, waiting for permission to step forward. Jo's dark eyes slid towards the figures, and she swallowed.

"A-" She could only squeak, and so slowly lifted the hand Carter still held, to point. With sluggish relfexes and throbbing joints, she returned her hand to the bed, as Allison and Carter turned. Hertz, Rowley and Blythe stood together, huddled in the doorway, watching. Hertz held something in her arms, and Rowley nervously tucked a red curl behind her ear.

"C... can we see her, Dr. Blake?" The redhead stammered. She glanced at Jo, before lowering her gaze to her hands. Allison smiled at the girls and finished massaging Jo's throat.

"Of course you can, girls." She moved away, letting the girls make their way to the bed. Slowly, one by one, they wrapped Jo in gentle hugs, pressing kisses to her forehead and whispering softly in her ear. Hertz settled on the edge of the bed closest to Jo, and pulled whatever she'd held beneath her jacket out.

"Remember Hot Chocolate?" She asked, holding the bear out. Jo took the old bear, tears in her eyes. Her mother had owned the bear- dressed in black flamenco skirt with red sash and white peasant blouse with the red rose tucked behind its gold hooped earringed ears- when she was a child, and then passed it on to Jo, one Christmas. Jo had named the bear Hot Chocolate after Spanish Hot Chocolate from the _Nutcracker_. A smile slowly spread over her face, and she looked up at Hertz.

"Where..." She swallowed. "Did you... find..."

"You gave her to me before my last deployment, remember? She was with me in Switzerland, so she... survived your house burning down." Jo's brow knit with confusion, and she looked from Rowley to Blythe and back.

"What? My... house..." She swallowed, and dropped her hold on the bear. Allison was at her side in a moment, holding her down gently.

"Jo? Jo, look at me. Slow breaths. Breathe. That's good." She glared quickly at Hertz as she returned the mask to Jo's face. Hertz drew back, ducking her head.

"Sorry. I..."

"It's okay, Hertz. You didn't know how she'd react." Carter whispered, laying a hand on the younger woman's back. She gave him a sad smile. Allison stayed by Jo's side for several minutes, checking her lungs and heart, counting her pulse, before she deemed it safe for her to return to breathing on her own. She adjusted the IV, and stepped back.

"Calm, girls. She's still recovering from everything that happened, and that _includes_ coming out of the coma. I am _not_ going to bring her out of it just to have you three put her back in again. Got it?"

"Yes Ma'am." The three replied in perfect, military unison. Carter chuckled. All they needed was to salute, and they'd be the perfect soldiers they had once been before Eureka. Jo squeaked out a laugh, taking slow breaths.

"What's so funny, Josie?" Rowley asked. Jo shook her head quickly.

"My... house..." She whispered eventually. Allison sighed. She knew Jo wouldn't let it go until she heard the news. The only problem was breaking it to her.

"Jo, there was an accident. You're house was burned down. Luckily, you weren't home at the time. But... everything else... I'm sorry, Jo." She nodded, her eyes going to the heart monitor.

"Where...am..."

"With me." Carter cut in. "They're rebuilding your house now. Laid the foundation for it a few weeks ago." She nodded, laying back and closing her eyes.

"Thank... Carter..." He smiled, squeezing her hand before getting up. Rowley pulled her legs up and folded them; she played with her jacket sleeves before,

"You scared us, Josie. We thought we'd lost you." Jo didn't say anything, just reached out to take the redhead's hand. Blythe lay across the bottom of the bed near Jo's feet, propping herself up on her elbow, watching her friend. A moment passed, before she lay her head on her arm, asking,

"So, what'd you dream about for two weeks?" At Jo's curious look, she elaborated. "Remember how we'd tell each other our dreams from the night before? And then we'd write down the important parts and try to figure out what they meant? And how sometimes we'd use the Ouji board my sister had?" Jo nodded, remembering. "So, what'd you dream about for two weeks? You must have lots of fascinating dreams."

Jo's dark eyes slid to Carter and Allison. "Not... really..." Blythe shrugged.

"Maybe after you get out of the infirmary, Josie." Jo gave her a soft smile. Only Hertz remained silent. She reached up, tracing Jo's hairline before she wrapped her arms around her friend and rested her head beside Jo's.

"When I heard you were hurt... in a coma... I caught the first flight back to the states."

"Lan left on assignment the day after your accident, Josie." Rowley filled in at Jo's confused look.

"I was only in Switzerland a week. I thought we were going to lose you." She buried her face in Jo's hair, and slowly, the other woman reached down, taking her hand.

"Did... have... Swiss... chocolate... or... cheese?" She asked after a moment. Blythe and Rowley burst out laughing, and after several seconds, Hertz joined in. It was a common joke among the four friends- whichever country they were in at the time, and of the two well-known things they had, which was better? In this case, chocolate or cheese?

"Chocolate, Josie. Swiss chocolate was definately better than Swiss cheese." The laughter subsided when someone slipped into the infirmary.

"Who... are... you?"


	4. Learning How To React

******Rifiuto: Non Mirena **

Zane chuckled softly, stopping at the foot of the bed. Quickly, the girls scrambled off it, pressing kisses to her forehead and leaving. "Funny, Jojo." She just stared at him, confusion written over her face. He searched her gaze for any recognition, but came up empty. If she was playing, she was a damn good actress.

"Don't... call me... that..." She swallowed, accepting the water Allison handed her. Then, the doctor returned to slowly rubbing her throat. "I... don't... know... you..."

"Real funny, Jojo, but... seriously." He watched a mix of emotions cross her face before she turned to Allison, casting a sideways glance at Zane. Now his heart was beginning to drop towards his toes. "Who are... you... again?" He swallowed.

She was kidding, wasn't she?

He waited, thinking of something to say, before plastering on a smile and taking a seat in the chair Carter had vacated earlier. "My name is Zane Donovan. I'm a... particle psychist here at Global Dynamics and... we've been seeing each other for the last two months." She digested the information, and after a moment, choked out a hoarse laugh.

"Right. We... don't know... each other. How can I... date someone... I don't... even know? Let alone... just... met." Zane's face fell.

"Well, we are. Not... officially dating, but... but we're seeing each other. Have been for the last few months." Jo shook her head.

"No... I... don't... know you..." She turned to Carter, as Allison finished rubbing her throat. "Carter... isn't he... supposed to be... in your c... ell?" Carter started, surprised.

"Um... I let him out. He's... behaving himself." The sheriff replied, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "You... Jo, honey, what's the... last thing you remember?" She thought a moment, shrugging.

"Um... going down to... Dr... Dr. Marbeau's... lab..." Carter nodded.

"Okay? And... the last thing you remember about Zane?" Everyone held their breath, hoping she'd remember the engagement ring, or the PALS or the space launch, but instead,

"Meeting him... a few minutes... ago." Zane's mouth dropped in surprise, and he turned to Allison, who looked just as shocked as Zane felt. But the doctor recovered quickly. Jo's eyes fell on Allison. "Did... did I... do something... wrong?"

"No, no. You've done nothing wrong, Jo. It's just..." Jo waited. Allison sighed. She glanced at Carter and Zane._ Go away so I can talk to her alone, please._ Carter nodded, wrapping an arm around Zane's shoulders and guiding him from the room. Once they were gone, Allison pulled the curtain. She took a seat in the chair beside Jo's bed and reached out, taking her hand. Jo watched the older woman take a deep breath.

"Allison... what is... it?"

"Jo, you've suffered a major trauma, and it... looks like you've lost a bit of your memory. Now, memory loss isn't uncommon with a trauma like this, don't worry, in that retrospect, you're normal." She clarified when Jo's heartbeat spiked on the monitor. "The only problem, is that you seem to have... lost memories of only one person-"

"Zane Donovan?" Jo offered. She nodded.

"Yes. It's... called Lacunar amnesia, and usually, the person loses memory about a_ specific_ event- like a car crash or battle. It creates a gap in the memory, where that event should have been. Unfortunately, in this case, the event lost wasn't an event, but a person. Zane." Jo nodded, but kept quiet. A moment passed, before Allison got up, slipping behind the curtain and going to Zane and Carter. Zane was the first one on his feet when Allison stepped into the hall.

"Well?"

"She has Lacunar amnesia."

"Lu-what?" Carter asked, joining Zane. It was clear from the look on his face that he didn't understand.

"Lacunar amnesia, it.. it's where you forget a specific event from your life due to severe trauma." Zane whispered, glancing at Carter.

"Like... nine-eleven." Carter said, and Zane glanced at Allison, who nodded.

"Yes. Only, in Jo's case, she hasn't forgotten an event, she's forgotten Zane." Allison whispered. "I'm so sorry, Zane." He didn't reply.

"So... will... will she be able to... to regain those memories?" Carter asked, after a moment.

"Lacunar amnesia is exceedingly rare. Right now, we're not sure of the damage done to her memory. I want to keep her here for a couple more days just for observation, and then I'll let her go home. It'll take a while for her to recover, but she should be fine."

"And her memory?" Zane asked, unable to stop himself. Allison sighed, lips thinning into a line.

"There's no way to tell. It could come back and it could not. It depends on how great the trauma she went through." And with that, Allison returned to the infirmary, leaving the two men in the hallway. Once she was gone, Carter wrapped an arm around Zane's shoulders and steered him out of the hallway, towards the rotunda.

"Zane, I think it's time we told you something important. It has to deal with you and Jo and a little trip back to nineteen-forty-seven."

"But, I've already-"

"Yeah, I know, you've pretty much figured it out, but you need to hear the real story- the whole story. Not just the pieces you've managed to fit together."

* * *

Two hours later, Zane sat across from Henry and Carter in Henry's garage, a cold beer in his hands. He didn't drink, but after the story he'd just been told, he seriously considered taking it up as a hobby. "So... let me get this straight... I... I was in a... committed relationship with Jo?"

"For two years." Carter replied softly. "You proposed to her on Founders' Day, she hesitated, and you stormed out." Zane groaned softly, closing his eyes, the memory of that day in the sheriff's office coming back to him.

_"Yes, I'll marry you." _

_"Me? Marry you? In what universe?"_

He'd broken her heart; he'd seen her heart break that long ago day, but had laughed at her, thinking she was playing a prank. Suddenly, though, everything else began to fall into place- the kiss in the sheriff's office, the ring, the makeout in the ruins of her burned down house that led to mindblowing sex at his place.

"Fargo told me when we were in space but... but not to this extent..." He muttered.

"Fargo wasn't watching you and Jo as closely as I was." Carter replied.

_"Now why didn't that feel like a first kiss?"_

"When I kissed her in the sheriff's office... it... it didn't_ feel_ like a first kiss. It felt like... like we'd been doing it for years." Carter took a swig of his beer.

"Because you were, Zane. In our timeline, you and Jo were it. The whole town was behind you two taking that leap. And in the blink of an eye, it's gone."


	5. What Are Friends For?

******Rifiuto: Non Mirena **

"You sure you won't mind staying with me, Josie?" Jo shook her head.

"I look forward to it, Rowley. I've missed you." The redhead gave her a bright smile.

"I've missed you too, Josie."

"What's going on?" Everyone looked up when Carter and Zane entered the infirmary. Three weeks had passed- starting off with Allison recieving several urgent texts from the Head nurse over a tow day period, concerning Jo having woken up unable to breathe and thrashing about, Allison decided to keep her under mild sedation while her body recovered. Now, though, she was releasing Jo from the infirmary, into Rowley's loving, protective care. Not that she'd told either Zane or Carter of her decision.

"Josie is going to be staying with me for the next few weeks, Sheriff Carter, while she gets back on her feet." Rowley replied as Jo pushed the blanket off her body. She reached out, taking the weaker woman's hands and helping her move to the edge of the bed.

"Allison?" Carter turned just as the woman in question came back to them. "I thought we agreeded that Jo would be staying at SARAH. I'll take care of her. And so will Zane."

"Rowley offered, Carter. Besides, the girls have a long history with Jo, and they know her best. I think it would be better if Jo stayed with Rowley. For now."

"I can take care of Josie, Sheriff Carter." Rowley replied. "I've always taken care of them. They're the closest things I have to sisters- me being an only." Carter glanced back at the pair; he vaguely remembered Jo telling him that Rowley was always considered the mother hen of the quartet. She always looked out for the others, sometimes at the expense of herself. Now, he watched as Rowley helped a weak Jo to her feet. The ravenhead's knees gave out, and she crumpled to the floor.

"Gotcha." Jo looked up, to find herself being held by Zane. He gave her a small smile. "Careful, Jojo. We don't want you to hurt yourself, otherwise you'll be spending another week in this prison." He chuckled softly at Allison's exclamation. A moment passed, before she pulled away once he'd set her back on her feet.

"Thank you." She whispered, as Rowley wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Come on, let's get you home." They passed by Zane, the redhead casting him a wary glance as they passed. Jo turned back to stare at him, confusion in her dark eyes, as she tried desperately to figure out who he was and how they knew each other. Nothing came to her though, and she turned back to the conversation as Hertz followed. "How about we stop and pick up dinner from Cafe Diem? Lan and Tam are gonna stay the night, to make sure you settled in okay-"

"So a sleepover?" Jo asked. "Any.., intrigued. "Boy-girl, maybe? Any adult recreation going on?" Hertz chuckled.

"Unfortunately not, Josie. Tam's the only one with a real boyfriend-" She stopped, glancing back at Zane. "Sorry."

* * *

"You okay, Josie?" She looked up, her thoughts scattered into a thousands pieces. Rowley leaned against the doorway, watching her best friend. A moment passed, before Jo nodded, swallowing thickly. "Whatcha thinkin' about, then?" The redhead pushed herself away from the doorway, ambling towards the bed before dropping onto it. She pulled her legs up under her, and waited. Jo shrugged.

"I just... Everything's a jumble, you know? Like... psychotic. I... I remember some things clearly, and other things are... are fuzzy. It's like... I'm looking through steam... and that guy in the infirmary-"

"Zane Donovan." Rowley growled, annoyed. Jo nodded, head snapping up.

"Yeah, he... he says I know him, but.. I've never met him. But he... he acts like... like we're... seeing each other." She licked her lips. Rowley sat stoic for several minutes, trying to come up with a way to calm the Zane situation currently wreaking havoc on her best friend's emotions.

"Josie-"

"What's up? Smokin' a little hookah with the caterpillar? Or playin' flamingo crochet with the Red Queen?" Both women looked up to see Blythe leaning against the doorway, in a pair of capris and a t-shirt, a bowl of M&Ms in her hands.

"Or having an unbirthday party with the Mad Hatter and the Dormouse that you forgot to uninvite us too?" Hertz asked, sliding around Blythe to peer into the room. A moment passed, before she took up place at the other side of the doorway. The brunette wore nothing more than a pair of pajama shorts and a bra- her usual sleepwear since she'd gotten out of the military. She held four bottles of beer. "So, what's going on, girlies? The Chesire Cat send you the wrong way? Oh! Or did you eat the wrong mushroom and grown ten sizes too small?" She asked with delight. Jo grinned, and Rowley relaxed.

The girls' favorite story was the classic _Alice in Wonderland_ and _Alice Through the Looking-Glass_- all had been fascinated with Lewis Carroll and Alice Liddell as children, even going so far as to write stories and plays and star in them themselves, putting them on for their neighbors and those on the military base. Jo had always identified with Alice Liddell as well as the Alice from the story, especially since coming to Eureka- thrown into a world where chaos and insanity took over logic and proportion, she was certainly Alice down the rabbit hole.

"So," Hertz said, dropping onto the bed, causing it and the others to bounce. She quickly popped the tops of the beer bottles and handed one to each. "What're we doing tonight? Makeovers and mani-pedis or Ouija board and fake seances?"

"You don't really believe in that stuff, do you, Lan?" Rowley asked, taking a sip of her beer.

"_He-llo_, I'm from Louisiana. New Orleans, to be exact. The most haunted city in the ol' South, probably even America." Hertz replied; Rowley rolled her eyes. Jo chuckled softly.

It was a well-known fact that Caitlan Hertz had grown up in Louisiana- when she wasn't moving with her family from base to base- in an apartment in the French Quarter. She went down every year for Mardi Gras, and had gone down to help when Katrina hit and destroyed her beloved city. The woman's roots were deep in Creole blood, steeped in Voudoun and she believed in everything from ghosts to curses. A mulatto that had so much French blood in her, she looked white as snow, it was hard to believe she actually had African American in her- unless you really knew her. Lan and her older brother Louis had played among the Cities Above Ground, they'd chased after candy thrown out during the parades at Mardi Gras; she'd learned at an early age how to cook gumbo and jumbalaya, and make bananas foster. She'd grown up speaking French in a thick, Southern drawl that was often hard to discern. Her aunt owned a Voudon shop in the Quarter, and had taught the girl various practices, from making Voudon dolls to casting spells and removing curses.

Jo watched her pull the necklace she wore around her neck from beneath her thick brown hair. She rubbed the talisman, mouthing softly to herself. The black cord held a pattern of black and green beads and a medium-sized key on it: the key to conquering obstacles. When the girls had gone their seperate ways after college, she'd given one to each of them, for it was the patron of soldiers. Lan glanced up at her friend, stopping her prayer. She had hundreds of skeleton keys, and kept at least one with her at all times. "What?"

Jo shook her head. "Nothing. It's just... nice to be together again."

"I'll drink to that." Blythe added, raising her bottle. The girls clinked bottles after a moment, and soon fell into happy conversation. They watched movies and chatted, laughing about things that happened when they were kids. Eventually though, Jo began to yawn, and the girls each returned to their own beds with hugs and promises to see her the next mornig.

"You okay, Josie?" Rowley asked, stopping at the door. She watched Jo, who nodded.

"Yeah, I'll be fine Gwen. Thank you." The redhead nodded.

"No problem. Goodnight."

"Night." Once she was gone, Jo lay staring at the ceiling. Eventually, she drifted off to sleep, her dreams filled to the brim with images of Zane.


	6. A Mile in Her Shoes

******Rifiuto: Non Mirena**

Zane looked up, and his heart- as cliche as it sounded- skipped a beat at the sight of Jo entering the cafe, Rowley by her side, Hertz and Blythe following behind, deep in conversation. She was dressed in a pair of worn jeans, sneakers and a t-shirt with a grey type of sweater on over it, her long black hair pulled back in her customary ponytail. She looked exhausted, clearly the stress of her near death experience was wearing on her, even after nearly four weeks. Had she slept at all? Was she popping pills to sleep at night? Had she turned to alcohol to calm her down? Was she plagued by nightmares? He found himself hoping that it was a no to every question that popped into his head, and as she took a seat at the counter, two seats away, he realized that it was yes to at least one of the questions.

She yawned, resting her chin on her hand, her eyes falling closed as she sat waiting for Vincent to bring her coffee. He glanced behind him; Rowley and the other girls were caught up in a conversation with Parrish. He had a chance to talk with Jo. Taking a deep breath, he got up, sidling over to her. "This seat taken?" She looked up, turning dark, tired eyes to him. She stared at him for a moment, as though trying to place him in her life, and unable to, sighed and gestured towards the stool.

"Go ahead." She turned back to the kitchen. "Vincent, can I... my coffee, please?" She asked through her yawn. Minutes later, Vincent rushed over, setting a steaming cup in front of her.

"Here you go. Enjoy, Jo." She gave him a quick smile and took a sip, savoring the taste on her tongue. Allison had her on restricted duty- in fact, the doctor had put up a fight about allowing Jo to return so soon to work- but Jo had won out, promising that she'd stay in her office the majority of the time, and not do anything so strenuous as to even lift a pencil. In the end, Allison had reluctantly agreed. But that didn't mean that she didn't have eyes on the Head of Security at all times; Rowley, Blythe and Hertz had promised to keep close tabs on Jo, and let Allison know if she did anything that would cause too much stress on her still-recuperating body. So far, neither woman was winning; they were tied in the stubborn category.

Zane cleared his throat. They sat in silence for several minutes, before he asked, "So... you doing better?" She nodded, not looking at him. "Good." They lapsed into silence again before, "Look, Jo, I... I know you don't remember me, but... but what we had, was real, and it was important."

"I'm sorry, but... I don't know you. I don't remember you. I wish I did, because you seem like a good guy, but..." She stopped. "I'm sorry." He watched her get off the stool and leave the cafe.

"Poor thing. I can't imagine losing your memory like that. Must be torture for her." Zane didn't look at Vincent as he leaned against the counter, he just nodded.

"Yeah. Torture." Then, he grabbed his cup and left.

* * *

She sat at her desk, staring at the doors, waiting-

For what? Or more importantly, who?

_The guy with the black hair and the bright blue eyes._ She shook her head, even as images of Zane began to fill her head. She didn't know why, but for some reason, being close to him caused her stomach to brust with butterflies and her head to spin. It was like she was a schoolgirl again, with a crush on the captain of the football team. Except she had never been that type. So why was it, that every time she saw Zane, her heart began to beat with excitment? She didn't remember him, had never met him- contrary to what he said, she'd remember if she'd seen those blue eyes before- and so shouldn't have these fluttery feelings towards a perfect stranger. But she did-

"How ya doin'?" Her gaze shot up; Carter leaned against the wall. She hadn't been paying attention, otherwise she'd have seen him come in. He held two cups of coffee, and set one in front of her when he reached her desk. She snatched it up, taking a grateful sip as he took a seat across from her.

"Okay. You?"

"I'm doing good." He replied. They sipped their coffee in silence for several minutes, before he set his cup on her desk and asked, "So, how's your memory doing?" She shrugged.

"Okay. Things are coming back to me, work and... and everything."

"And Zane?" She cocked her head, confused.

"Who?" Carter nodded; her quizzical look was all the proof he needed that she didn't remember Zane. He studied her, taking in the circles under her eyes, the haphazard clothing she'd thrown on, the evident exhaustion her small body had gone through- was still going through. She looked like she hadn't slept at all the night before, or tossed and turned in nightmares. Carter sighed. Jo had been through so much since coming to this new timeline- from hesitating at Zane's proposal before the time jump, to losing him and discovering that they had never dated in this timeline, to losing her house twice... the list of things Jo had lost in the last six months was like a highway stretching before him. And then with her and Zane sneaking around, it seemed like she'd gotten a little bit of her old self back, but now...

Now she'd lost it all over again. Well, not everything. Just her relationship with Zane, who, as far as Jo knew, she'd never met. But Zane still had his memories.

_Now Zane knows what Jo went through, how it felt for her to have everything ripped out from under her. She lost everything when we came to this new time. A mile in her shoes, Zane..._

Carter shook his head. The only difference between Zane and Jo, was that this time, Jo might never regain her memory of him.


	7. It's Called A Battle Plan

******Rifiuto: Non Mirenra**

******Thanks to Sprklz03 for reviewing 6.**

"So what's the plan?"

"You mean before or after we get back from Portland?"

"I thought we were going to _Ashland_-"

"Um... Vincent, could... could I... get..." Zane looked up as Jo dropped onto the stool next to him. He glanced over his shoulder; the girls sat at a table, going over something spread out before them, cutting each other off and chatting about nothing. Jo glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, before quickly turning away. He bit his lip before,

"Jo..." She looked up at him, startled that he'd called her by name.

"Um... Z... Zachary? No... Z... Zane... right? No... that's not-"

"No, no, you were right the second time." He replied. "Zane." She relaxed, a flash of relief crossing her face. They sat in silence for several minutes, before he spoke up again. "Um... are... are you... doing anything tonight? Or... or tomorrow night?" She bit her lip, glancing back at her friends.

"We... we're going down to Ashland for a few days. The... the girls and Dr. Blake think that... that maybe a change of scenery would be good for me. I can't wait. I like Ashland." She gave him a small smile, as Vincent set her cup down. Her small declaration was almost like she'd recieved a new toy at Christmas, voice tinged with uncontained joy.

"Josie!" The pair turned; the girls were waiting for her by the door and she quickly got up to join them.

"Jo, wait!" She turned back when Zane caught her hand. "Then if not this week or next week, how about the week after? Dinner? Maybe a movie?" She bit her lip, confused.

"Like a... date?" He nodded, and then stopped as her eyes widened in fear.

"No! Just... just a couple hanging out and getting to know each other." He amended, watching the fear leave her eyes. A moment passed; she glanced back at the girls, before saying,

"I'll have to talk to the girls." And she pulled away, following them.

"No, you don't have to-" But she was gone.

* * *

"If anything goes wrong, you let me know-"

"We will. We _promise_. Can we get going now, please?" Blythe asked, pushing herself away from the car. Jo sat on the backseat, holding tigh to Hot Chocolate, watching as Rowley and Hertz put the last of the suitcases in the trunk of her small blue car. She glanced back towards the front; Allison stood with Carter, hands on her hips, talking with Blythe.

"All right, but if anything happens-"

"Allison! You're talking to _former military_, here! We promise, we will keep watch_ over Josie_. She will be _fine_." Blythe snapped, throwing her hands up. The doctor sighed.

"Just, promise me that you will be careful!"

"We will, Allison. That's a promise. Josie is in good hands." Rowley stated calmly, climbing into the backseat. Once the girls were gone, Carter asked,

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Allison?" She sighed.

"Jo mentioned wanting to go to Ashland, and the girls can't deny her anything. Besides, I think, that couple weeks away from Eureka will help get Jo back on track. That she can relax and not worry about anything down here, and maybe... maybe regain some of her memories. Or at least a sense of who she is." Carter nodded, not entirely believing it.

* * *

"She's finally out." Hertz turned in the passenger seat, to see Jo curled up in the back, head resting on Rowley's shoulder. She held tight to the bear, and after a moment, Rowley pressed a kiss to her hair.

"Good. Maybe she'll get some sleep." The brunette replied, watching her friend.

"Without worrying about Donovan trying to get her to believe that they're in a relationship." Blythe added, merging into the left lane. Rowely 'hmmed' softly, turning to look out the window as Jo slept, getting the much needed sleep her nightmares had been denying her for the last few weeks. The girls fell into silence for over an hour, before Hertz whispered,

"What if she never."

"Never what?" Blythe asked, glancing at her friend. Rowley turned away from the window.

"What if Josie never regains her memories of Zane?" Blythe met Rowley's eyes in the rearview mirror. "Well, think about it." The brunette continued before either could speak. "If she never regains any sort of memory of him, then she can move on with her life. She won't have to... to stumble and flinch every time she sees him, or... or wonder if he's sleeping with someone else while he's sleeping with her. Or worry about getting him sanctioned if the time traveling ever gets discovered. She won't have to worry about any of that. Or the engagement ring he gave her in her timeline. She doesn't have to worry about that anymore."

"No, but that just means that she has to worry about being sanctioned herself, and about us being sanctioned and Allison and Carter and the others, and-"

"And that's _it_." Hertz cut Blythe off, turning to glance back at Rowley and Jo before turning her gaze back to the front. "She can... can have a normal life and a normal relationship-"

"As normal as you can get in Eureka." Rowley added.

"Without Zane being an issue."

"It won't work." Blythe replied. "Now that she doesn't remember him, he'll go after her with more force than he did before."

"So we protect her." Hertz said, looking back at Rowley, who glanced down at Jo.

"How do you suggest we do that, Lan?" Rowley asked softly, gently smoothing the jacket she'd draped over Jo as she slept. The other woman snuggled closer, and Rowley wrapped an arm around her. The brunette watched the silent mothering, her mind working out a scenario. Eventually, she caught Rowley's eye, and whispered,

"We set her up with someone else."


	8. You Know, Anastasia, Starring Meg Ryan

******Rifiuto: Non Mirenra**

"So what do we do now?"

The girls stood in the room Jo shared with Rowley, on the third floor of the bed and breakfast they were staying at. The sprawling Victorian mansion had bay windows, turrets, and a wraparound porch, with a cobblestone path leading to the porch steps. Painted a light mint green with white lace trim, it had a matching cottage n the back, and sat back, overlooking downtown Ashland. The four story home was over a hundred years old, and had once been the scene of a tragic love story- as befitting any old Victorian.

Hertz sighed. "Tonight, we let her sleep. And then tomorrow, we help her start her new life. Without Zane." The other two nodded, before they dispersed; Hertz and Blythe taking the room next door. After shutting the door behind her, Rowley climbed into the bed across from Jo's, and quickly shut off the light.

* * *

_"What's going on? Hertz? Where are you going?"_ The door slammed, moments before it was once again opened and once again slammed. Blythe rushed to catch up, barreling through the door into Jo and Rowley's room, in time to find Rowley and Hertz trying to hold the other woman down. The blonde stopped in her tracks, unsure of what to do.

_"Don't just stand there, Tam! Get a bowl of ice water and a washcloth!"_ Hertz snapped. A moment passed, before the woman did as told. When she joined the others at Jo's bed, it was to seizure-like shaking and hacking coughs. Minutes passed, minutes that the girls spent talking to her in comforting tones, of stroking her hair and holding her down. As Tam gently ran the cubes of ice over Jo's feverish skin, the other woman pushed her away, sitting up. A strangled, dying gasp for air escaped her throat, and she coughed.

"Josie, you scared us!" Hertz replied, taking her face in her hands. Slowly, Jo's dark eyes traveled up her face, as she greedily gulped in air. "You okay now?" Hertz asked softly, voice choked with tears. Jo nodded, turning to look at the others.

"What happened?" Blythe asked, the bowl in her lap. Jo swallowed.

"I... woke up and... couldn't breathe... I just smelled smoke... it... it reminded me of... of the attack in... in Afghanistan, before I was captured..." Hertz wrapped her arms around Jo, as Rowley rested her head against Jo's.

"You haven't had that nightmare since you got out of service, Josie." Rowely whispered, rubbing her back. Jo swallowed.

"I know, I just..."

"Maybe the accident brought it back." Blythe whispered, gently running the washcloth over Jo's feverish skin. Rowley shrugged.

"Either way, you're safe, Josie. We won't let anything hurt you. I promise." Hertz whispered, smoothing strands of wild black hair. Eventually, they helped her up, pushing her gently towards the bathroom. "Go splash some water on your face." Once the door closed behind her, Hertz turned to the others. Rowley sat on Jo's bed, and Tam settled on the floor, legs crossed beneath her.

"I haven't heard her talk about Afghan since we came to Eureka. It's like..."

"She blocked it." Rowley replied.

"But what triggered it?" Hertz asked, taking a seat on Rowley's bed. Silence fell for several minutes before Blythe whispered,

"The accident in the lab in Section Four." Both Hertz and Rowley turned to her. "It... it caused the lacunar amnesia- that's the reason why she doesn't remember Donovan, maybe it could cause those memories of her captivity to come back. She said that she smelled smoke, and from what we know about the attack and abduction, the base was hit by bombs, and there was smoke. From... what we know, she was kept in a dungeon, and... most likely shot. The gunfire could have-" Hertz shook her head.

"No. It... i... gunfire... it has... it has a different smell than bomb smoke. It's sharper, like... like burnt toast or... or wildfire. Bomb smoke is... is more like burning cake or... or burning plastic... it... it smells like tar. Sweet. Sick. Sweet enough you can get sick off it." Neither one asked how Hertz knew the difference, neither had to. They both knew that she, like Jo, like they themselves, all suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. In some form or another, each one of them had it, from whatever terrors they'd gone through during their time in the service. In some stage, they all suffered from it, and did their best to hide it from those they loved.

A moment passed. before Hertz took a seat on the bed, picking nervously at her cuticles. She glanced at her friends, struggling to think of something to say. Rowley beat her to it. "If this is PTSD, why aren't we suffering like Josie?"

"Because we weren't recently in an accident like Josie." Blythe whispered.

"No, we just get to bear witness to our best friend losing her mind." Rowley said.

"She's not losing her mind, she just... can't remember the one person that she doesn't need to remember." Hertz replied. "Once we put Operation Bunny Rabbit into action, she'll be fine."

"'Bunny Rabbit'?" Blythe asked, eyebrows raised. "Seriously?" Hertz rolled her eyes.

"Do you have a better name?"

"Oh honey, _anything_ is better than 'Operation_ Bunny_ Rabbit.'" She replied as Rowley chuckled.

"How about..." The redhead stopped, thinking. "'Anastasia' instead?"

"'Anastasia'? For what?" Blythe asked. Rowley rolled her eyes.

"For the animated movie. It's about the last grand duchess trying to remember who she is, and she falls in love with-"

'Dmitri, we know." Blythe replied. "We all saw Anastasia when it came out in theaters-"

"I love that movie." All three turned to Jo, who stood wringing her wet hair into a towel.

"Josie, what did you do?" Rowley asked, climbing to her feet and going to their friend. She took the towel as Jo said,

"I... dunked my head under the sink."

"You didn't have to." Rowley replied, laughing softly, all thoughts of the arguement gone at the childlike look on Jo's face. She knew the attitude change was a coping mechanism in response to the PTSD- they'd all used it at one point- feign innocence, and it never happened. "Come on, let's get you back to bed. We have a long day tomorrow."


	9. I Broke Her Heart So She Breaks Mine

******Rifiuto:******** Non Mirenra **

The air was cool; they wandered through downtown Ashland in button-down coats, boots, scarves and gloves, arms linked. Jo had pulled her hair into a loose French braid, and appeared to be enjoying herself as she took in the leaves drifting towards their feet. Rowley kept a tight hand on her arm, but they all let her lead them as they wandered past the stores and restaurants. Her eyes drank in everything from the leaves to the old-fashioned storefronts. Eventually though, they stopped to relax at a park, and sat talking softly as Jo chased dancing leaves with a childish ambition. It had been so long since she'd done something as silly as run or chase leaves or dance in the rain. She'd had to be strict and stern and adult for too long; if the girls could give her at least three weeks of carefree, she'd be perfectly content. Not a thought of Zane or Eureka was in her head, just the cool southern Oregon weather and the sweet scent of coffee.

"So what's first on the agenda?" Blythe asked, sipping her coffee. Rowley glanced over to see Jo chasing after several red and gold leaves that danced on the wind.

"Whatever we want. We've got at least three weeks off, so-"

"Can we go see_ As You Like It_?" The girls turned, Jo collapsed in a heap on the grass, legs out in front of her. She accepted the coffee Rowley handed her, and took a sip.

"How about _Hamlet_?" Hertz asked, knowing that an arguement was soon going to begin. Jo wrinkled her nose.

"I hate _Hamlet_, it's so depressing. _As You Like It_ is more fun. It's silly, but it has that sweet side to it." The girls argued for several minutes, before deciding on the light-hearted Shakespearan comedy and lunch at a small cafe.

* * *

"Does this look okay?" The others all turned, to see Jo slip out of the bathroom, in a short little dark green sundress and black heels. Her hair was down in loose waves, and her eyes were a smokey black, her lips a soft shade of light pink. She shifted nervously, waiting for the girls to respond. Blythe gave her a soft smile.

"You look wonderful, Josie." She whispered, going to her friend and brushing a stray curl away from her face. "Ready?" Rowley pulled her leather jacket on, brushing a wayard curl off her face as Hertz slipped into her heels and grabbed her purse.

* * *

Zane looked up in time to see Carter enter Cafe Diem. As soon as he spotted him, the older man moved to the counter and plopped down beside him. They sat in silence for several minutes, before Carter asked,

"How are you doing, Zane?" He shrugged.

"My girlfriend is down in Ashland with her friends, and she doesn't remember me, let alone remember that we were together. How do you think I'm doing?" Carter sighed and then tapped his shoulder, nodding towards the door as he stood. Zane followed, coffee in hand. Once they were safely within the walls of the sheriff's office, Carter took a seat at his desk, with Zane pulling up a chair on the other side. They sat, each waiting for the other to speak, but unsure of how to begin. Eventually though, the older man cleared his throat.

"Look, I know it's hard, but now you know what Jo went through for the last six months." Zane kept quiet, sipping his coffee. "When we got here, she was so happy to see you, and when you... you broke her heart, Zane. And what made it worse, was the fact that she'd hesitated in our timeline, and you stormed out, so she never got to-"

"Say yes." Zane whispered. Carter nodded. Silence fell once more around them, before Carter continued on.

"She tried so hard to distance herself from you, but you did everything in your power to get in her way. And she tried to forget, but... but the mind's tricky. It remembers what it wants to remember, what it deems important, and... what it doesn't deem important, it doesn't remember. It forgets."

"So..." Zane glanced up at Carter. "I guess... I'm unimportant then, if she doesn't remember me." Tears glistened in the younger man's blue eyes, and Carter felt his heart clench. No matter how much of a jackass Zane was- either timeline- he still loved Jo. And Carter knew, that deep down, the Zane Jo had grieved for the last six months- at least, up until the accident- was in there somewhere; he just needed Jo to bring him out. But with Jo's memory now gone, they were back to square one. She had no memory of Zane, of what they were in this time, probably no memory of what they'd been in their timeline, nor of how close they'd come to taking the plunge.

He sighed, leaning forward, arms on his desk. "Zane... in a way, this was good for her. She can start over, you and Jo can start over and give it another go. Do things right this time." Zane shook his head, tears sliding down his cheeks.

"No Carter, we can't. Because, Allison said that there's a good chance she may never regain her memory. And even if she does, she wouldn't want to be with me anyway." He shrugged. "I guess this is what I deserve, right? I broke Jo's heart, so..." He swallowed. "So she breaks mine."

* * *

"I actually had fun tonight." Blythe said as she kicked off her shoes. Rowley rolled her eyes, but had to admit that she also enjoyed herself. The girls had spent the night dancing, enjoying themselves and becoming lost in a small town straight out of a Thomas Kinkade painting. Now, as they headed to their respective rooms, she couldn't help feeling that maybe things were getting back on track. Jo had spent the majority of the night dancing with whoever asked, and for a brief moment, the girls had seen a spark of the girl they'd grown up with, of the woman she'd been before Zane had shown up.

"I don't know about you, Josie, but I'm-" Rowley stopped in the bedroom, mouth falling open. Jo sat on her bed, locked in a deep, passionate kiss.


	10. The Chosen Four

******Rifiuto:******** Non Mirena**

It took Rowley several minutes to get to the point where she could close her mouth and form a coherent thought. Jo and her partner were unaware, and swallowing, the redhead slowly backed up, turned to go-

And slammed into the wall.

Jo pulled back, surprised. "Um... ah... Gwen. Wh... what are you..." She stopped, pulling away from her date and putting a good dose of space between them on the bed. He tugged quickly on his jacket, having the decency to look embarrassed. A moment passed, before Rowley opened her mouth.

"Um... I..." She squeaked and stopped. "Wh... who are you?" He chuckled.

"Ev-" But the redhead held up a hand.

"Nevermind. I don't want to know. Rule number one, never ask who your comrades are up against. Bad idea all around." The guy furrowed a brow, and turned to Jo.

"It's a millitary thing." She replied. He nodded, then leaned over and pressed a kiss to her lips.

"I guess I'd better head back to my room-"

"You're staying in the same- don't want to know. I don't. Want. To know." Rowley amended, grabbing her pajamas and beelining for the bathroom. The door slammed behind her, and the two turned back to each other.

"So-"

"She'll be in there for a while. Gwen doesn't get embarrassed easily, but when she does, she tends to hide until her skin is back to white, otherwise it clashes with her hair." Jo replied, giving him a small smile. He chuckled.

"So we have _X_ amount of minutes before she comes back. W-" She grinned, before throwing her arms around him and capturing his lips in hers.

* * *

"The girls come back on Friday." Zane looked up as Allison and the others joined him at the table in the back corner of Cafe Diem.

"You think she'll remember... us?" He asked, taking a sip of his coffee. It was late; they were the only patrons in the cafe, tucked in the back corner that had automatically become theirs upon the time travelers' arrival. The others shared glances.

"Zane, you have..." Allison took a deep breath. "Right now, Jo's memory is a locked vault, and we have no access to the key-"

"Only she does," Henry added, cutting Allison off. "The only way we can gain access is if we cracked into that vault without Jo's knowledge."

"But the girls-" Allison continued.

"Are protecting her." Zane whispered. "And as long as they guard the vault, Jo will have no access to the memories or... to me." He whisepered, tears in his eyes.

* * *

"Keep in touch?" He chuckled.

"Absolutely. You'll have to come up to Vancouver someday. I could take you down to Special Projects, show you around." She giggled, and then leaned in, pressing a kiss to his lips before climbing into the backseat. The two week vacation was up, and the girls were heading back to Eureka- albeit grudgingly. As they began to long drive back, Jo found herself staring out the window, lost in thought. She jumped when Rowley poked her in the side.

"What?" The other woman cocked her head, silent. A blush quickly spread over Jo's cheeks, and she opened her mouth before shutting it. Hertz, who'd taken over driving on the way back, glanced towards them in the rearview.

"So what was going on with Mr. Gorgeous, Josie?" She asked, voicing what Rowley couldn't. The raven head glanced at Rowley, who shrugged, and reached out, patting her friend's knee. A moment passed, bore Jo stammered,

"He... he asked me to dance and... I accepted. We got... we got along great. He... he's a... he's the president of his software company in Vancouver. And he..." She bit her lip, but finally decided that since the girls lived in Eureka, they could know. "He hunts dinosaurs. That's what Special Projects is." The brunette nodded.

"You know, he looks a lot like..." But then Blythe stopped, deciding it was better to keep her mouth shut than deal with the flood of questions Jo would likely give her. The others didn't need to hear her say it; they knew who Blythe had been about to mention.

_He looks like Zane._

Eventually, the smooth motion of the car lulled Jo to sleep, and she curled up on the seat, laying her head in Rowley's lap. The older woman sighed, running her fingers through the soft black locks. "Oh Josie..." She looked up, meeting Blythe's gaze as the blonde turned in the passenger seat to check on the ravenhead.

"Apparently she liked the guy." Hertz said, taking the curve. "She gave him her number."

"That good?" Blythe asked, turning back to glance at the brunette. Hertz nodded.

"Absolutely. It means she's... considering starting a relationship with him, and the sooner she starts a relationship with him, the quicker and easier it will be to get Zane out of the picture. Once we get those two together, Zane will just be an annoying gnat needs to be squashed. They were enjoying each others' company at the club."

"They were enjoying more than each others' company." Rowley muttered, glancing back at Jo, who shifted in her sleep. Blythe turned back to stare at her friend.

"What do you mean, Gwen?" The redhead looked up, surprised that she'd spoken out loud. Several minutes passed, before she bit her lip, thought a moment, and murmured,

"I... walked in on..." She stopped, nodding towards Jo.

"Whoa, back up! You walked in on them-" Gwen shook her head.

"No! They were just making out. Heavily making out. She... she was... almost like a teenager..." Hertz rolled her eyes.

"None of us had the normal dating experience in high school, remember? We all ended up at The Point and our various schools by the time we were sixteen. From then on, it was military drills and papers; they squashed any form of rebellion. Remember when we tried setting off fireworks out of our dorm windows? We all got rapped for that- the only reason we weren't expelled was because our parents pulled the strings."

"I'd still like to know which little whistleblower snitched. Swinging dick was lucky we didn't catch 'em." Blythe muttered, examining her nails. Hertz chuckled.

"No one messed with us." Rowley whispered, glancing down at Jo. "Remember what they used to call us?"

"The Chosen Four." Hertz replied slowly, mulling over the nickname.

"Because we were always together. We were-"

"The populars at any normal high school?" Rowley asked, raising an eyebrow. Hertz chuckled.

"Yeah, actually."

"Four tomboys; one surpressing her girlish side, one smarter than her hair color suggests, one running the show and one taking care of everyone else but never herself." Blythe quoted, ticking the descriptions off on her fingers. Rowley chuckled and Hertz rolled her eyes.

"I did not run the show." Gwen replied.

"No, that was Lan. It's always been Lan. You've always been more of the mothering type." Blythe replied. They talked in soft tones until they reached Eureka, and by the time they pulled up in front of Rowley's house, all three were exhausted.

"Josie, wake up, sweetie." A moment passed before Jo slowly opened her eyes and sat up.

"Gwen?"

"Just got home. Come on, I'll make some hot tea." Slowly, the two woment climbed out of the car.

_"On no..."_ Hertz leaned against the car, staring off into something in the distance. Slowly, Rowley turned to follow her friend's gaze. She had to do a double take, to make sure she was seeing what she_ thought_ she was seeing, and sure enough, she was. Standing across from them, was Zane, hands in his pockets. Jo followed her friends' gazes, confusion in her eyes.

"What's he doing here?" She asked, turning back to her friends.


	11. First Date Disaster, Take Two

**R****if****iuto: Non Miriena**

He swallowed, watching the four girls exchange glances, that quickly turned to one of confusion and three of anger. Carter had warned him not to show up at Rowley's house and wait for them to get home. He'd told him to leave Jo and let her heal, but he just couldn't let it go- a typical Zane trait if there ever was one. So now, he stood watching the girls quietly discuss what to probably do with him, while Jo stood off to the side, staring at him with confusion in her dark eyes. After a moment, he moved towards them taking a deep breath.

"Hey girls." He recieved three glares in return for his greeting. He nodded, giving them a quick smile, before turning to the object of his affection. "Hey Jojo." She shifted, uncomfortable.

"Hello... I'm sorry, I... forgot your name." He nodded, then whispered softly,

"Zane." She glanced up at him.

"Right... what are you... doing here?" He took a deep breath, glancing at the girls.

"Look, Jo, I was..."

"Why don't you leave, Donovan? We just got back, and we're all exhausted. You can talk to Josie when Hell freezes over." Hertz cut in, taking Jo's arm. She shoved Zane away, and turned, leading Jo towards the front door. Jo didn't glance back, but Zane watched as Rowley and Blythe grabbed the bags.

"Wait!" In a split decision, he raced after them, grabbing Jo's wrist as she made her way up the steps. She turned back, her dark eyes widening in shock and slight fear at his touch. "Jo, um... how... can I take you out? For... for coffee... maybe... maybe brunch? This Sunday, after church?" She glanced at Hertz, who rolled her eyes. Instantly, her teeth slid out to grasp her lip, and she turned back to him.

"Let... let me think on it." And then she pulled away, following Hertz into the house.

* * *

"How could you_ possibly_ consider going out with him, Josie? He's a felon." Jo swallowed, pulling her legs underneath her as she sat on her bed. They'd talked and argued, debated and puzzled the lunch date for the last week- ever since Zane had asked Jo out, and especially since Jo had told him yes. Now, she stood fussing with her long black curls, the hem of her white sundress brushing her knees as she moved.

"I'm surprised she agreed to go out with him at all. This is Josie we're talking about." Blythe replied, flipping through her magazine.

"I'll give him a shot, Gwen. A shot won't hurt anything." Jo replied, stepping into her white sandals.

"Yeah it will." Rowely replied, collapsing on her bed. "If we hit just the right spot, it'll hurt like hell." A small smile tugged at her lips. Hertz rolled her eyes, and threaded an earring through her ear.

"I'm with Gwen on this one."

"And I'm not?" Blythe replied, tossing her magazine aside. "I don't like that she even considered it!"

"How do I look?" Jo asked, unknowingly cutting into the arguement and turning to face her friends. "Do I look okay?" Instantly, the other three turned bright smiles to her, nodding.

* * *

Zane twirled the rose between his fingers. What was taking her so long? When Jo had come up to him in the rotunda and agreed to brunch, he'd wanted to grab her around the waist and kiss her until he couldn't breathe, but had forced himself to turn on his charming smile and promise to meet her at Cafe Diem. He'd spent the next few days preparing for this rare opportunity to have a little alone time with Jo- to get to know her better and show her that he wasn't the jackass he was sure the girls told her he was.

"I'm meeting someone, actually, Vince." He replied; he hadn't heard a word the burly chef had said, and slowly raised the rose before setting it back on the table. Instantly, Vincent's eyebrows rose.

"Who's... the lucky lady?" He asked, intrigued. Zane opened his mouth, when the door opened, and both turned. Jo slipped in behind the girls, dark eyes looking for him. With a kiss to her cheek, Blythe slipped off to find Parrish, and after a moment, Rowley did the same, having spotted Fargo- a shock to everyone in their circle as well as GD, that the feisty redhead that was Jo's second-in-command, had a massive crush on the petite director. Only Hertz remained by her side, talking softly with her for several minutes, before pressing a kiss to her cheek and squeezing her hand before she took slipped off to find Henry and Grace, who she'd promised to have lunch with and chat over the latest medical advancements in regards to Jo's case. Left alone, Jo searched the tables, finally finding him, and a small smile lit her face. "No!" Vincent cried, surprised to see Jo in a dress. Zane nodded.

"Yes." He got up.

"I'm impressed, Zane."

"So am I. And... just a teeny bit scared." He confided, before making his way towards Jo. She took a deep breath, fiddling with her sweater. She glanced towards the girls, before turning back to her date. "All church girls look like you, I might consider converting." She smiled quickly at him, accepting the rose he held out.

_"You should join me sometime and find out."_

_"I would, but I'm allergic. I'd have to get a new inhaler, it'd be a whole thing."_ She chuckled softly, the words fading like the sunset, though the eerie feeling that she'd heard those words before remained. She looked up when he stepped aside.

"After you." She gave him a soft smile as she passed.

"Chivalry... not something I was expecting from a felon." She replied, glancing at him over her shoulder. He stuck his hands in his pockets and sidled up next to her.

"The day is still young, I might surprise you." He replied. She rolled her eyes, glancing towards where Blythe sat with Parrish, chatting over a light meal.

"Try anything, and I'll-" She stopped, _"Deviate your septum." _A chill ran up her spine as the words popped into her head. She gave him a shaky smile. "Never mind." He raised an eyebrow, but let her go ahead, and then pulled her chair out for her. Once both were seated, Vincent brought out the Sunday brunch special, and left the two to talk and get to know each other.

* * *

"How's she doing?" Blythe looked up from her coffee when Hertz sidled up to the pair, followed closely by Rowley and Fargo.

"So far so good..." Blythe ground out. "I don't like this." Rowley shrugged, crossing her arms.

"Why can't he just leave her alone?" Hertz asked, anger filling her voice. Gently, Rowley reached out, rubbing the brunette's back.

"He'll screw up eventually. It's what Donovan does best." She replied, before turning and heading back to their table. The redhead was right. Within minutes, Jo was getting to her feet and storming out of the restaurant with a quick, "Thanks for brunch."

* * *

"You okay, Josie?" The ravenhead slowly looked up. One look at her face, and Rowley knew the date had been a bad idea. Especially since her best friend was curled up on her bed, holding her childhood teddy bear, tears coursing down her cheeks.

"I don't even know why I'm crying, Gwenie." She whispered, using the special nickname that only she and the other girls used for the redhead. Sighing, Gwen settled on the edge of the bed, facing her. "I don't even know him, and he made me feel like an idiot." Gwen listened, reaching out to take her friend's hand.

"I'm sorry, Josie." The other woman took a deep, shaky breath.

"He... he's brilliant. I'm not. I... I don't even know why it upsets me so much." Gently, Gwen reached up, brushing tears off her friend's cheeks.

"You're tired, Josie. It's been a long day, and I'm sure he didn't make it any easier on you." Jo nodded, reaching up and running the back of her hand over her nose. "Come on," And slowly, Jo climbed off the bed and Gwen pulled the blankets down, allowing her to climb under before she tucked them around the other girl. "Time for bed. We can kick his ass tomorrow." Jo hhmmed softly, staring up at her best friend. "Night, Josie." She pressed a quick kiss to her cheek, before getting up and heading for her own room.

"Gwenie?" The redhead turned back, waiting. Jo looked so small, like a child. She pushed herself onto her elbow. "Is it... bad that I... that I like him? The guy I had brunch with? That I can't remember? I... I like him. Is that a bad thing?"

Gwen swallowed, the blood rushing from her head to her toes.


	12. Ask Me Again, Please

**R****if****iuto: N****on**** Miriena**

**A/N: Don't worry, the first date will soon be fixed. **

**Thanks to Hanada Marie, penguincrazy and jarethismine for reviewing 11.**

"She said that?" Rowley nodded. "So does she remember-"

"No. She's just... confused. And upset." Blythe puffed out her cheeks.

"We _have_ to get her away from Donovan. He's only going to hurt her, and she's been hurt so much already that-"

"We can't risk her having another break. Not again." Rowley finished. "We nearly lost her the last time." The girls lapsed into silence, their memories taking them back to the last time Jo had broken- completely, fully; when it had required heavy drugs, straps, and a straight jacket to restrain her.

"But what if..." Blythe looked up; Rowley waited patiently for her to continue. Slowly, the other woman began wringing her hands. "What if she... falls in love with him and... and then regains her memory and... and remembers what he did to her? How he hurt her?"

"Tam, Dr. Blake said that Josie has lacunar amnesia; it stems from the Latin for 'gap lake'-" Blythe rolled her eyes.

"I know the Latin of it, Gwen-"

"It's a blind spot, Tam! Josie has a blind spot, a gap, in her memory! One that involves Donovan! When she had the accident, she essentially erased him from her life! And I say all the better for her!"

"Better for Josie or better for us?" Gwen, who'd climbed to her feet and headed towards her car, stopped, taking a deep breath. A moment passed, before Gwen returned to her seat.

"Look, all he's done has hurt her time and time again. And... after her... telling us... about the time travel and how..." Gwen took a deep breath, sniffling. "I just... don't want him to get his hands on her. All he'll do is hurt her. That's the only thing Donovan is good at doing- breaking hearts. And the last time her heart got broken, it nearly killed her. I don't want to scramble to put the pieces back together again. She might not make it through."

* * *

"Will you be okay?" Jo nodded, wrapping her arms around herself. "If you need help with anything, let one of us know." Another nod, as Jo glanced around quickly. "Whatcha looking for, Josie?"

"H... him." She choked out, glancing down. "I... he was... he was a complete ass..." Hertz nodded.

"Donovan will always be an ass, Josie. People like him get what they deserve. You... still have that Evan's number, right? Why don't you give him a call? I'm sure he'd be willing to come down from Vancouver and take you to dinner- or even the ballet." Jo's head snapped up at the mention of live entertainment.

"The ballet? I... I'd like that." Hertz couldn't hide her smile as she watched the first smile she'd seen from Jo in three days blossom on her face. Gently, she squeezed her arm, and then pressed a kiss to her temple.

"If you need us, let us know." She turned back, halfway down the hall. "And call Evan!"

* * *

Silently, he slipped through the hall, eyes glued to his tablet. Better to be focused on work than his disasterous Sunday brunch date with Jo. As soon as he'd realized he'd put his foot in his mouth, he raced after her, but the girls were already there, listening to her, comforting her, calming her down as she told them of how disasterous the date had gone. He knew he'd stood no chance of clearing things up as long as the girls were there with her, and so he'd left, resolving to speak with her another day. His feet led him straight to Jo's office, but he stopped when he heard her voice.

"I know... I love Ashland, it's so beautiful and-"

_Who the hell is she-?_

Her giggle sent him reeling back; he'd _never_ heard Jo giggle, in the entire time he'd known her, _not once_ had that sound escaped from her mouth. As far as he knew, she didn't know_ how_ to giggle, or even that that sound existed.

"I've thought about you too... on and off... work and all..."

_She's been thinking about someone? Who?_

"I bet Vancouver's absolutely beautiful this time of year... no, I've never been, sad to say..."

_So she's talking to someone in Vancouver... who the hell does Jo know in Vancouver?_

"I'd love to come up and stay a few days... dinosaur hunting? As in... really? _Actual_ dinosaurs? Awesome..."

She giggled again, and Zane stepped back in shock. Did she say...

"You should come down to Eureka sometime... you'd enjoy it. No dinosaurs, but there's plenty of cool gagets..."

So they'd met in Ashland... and she obviously liked him... He swallowed, forcing himself to keep from barging into her office, grabbing the phone from her hands, and telling him not to call, and then kiss her senseless. He turned to go, but something made him pause. Taking a deep breath, he squared his shoulders and slipped into her office. There was no sight of her at first, but the sound of her soft giggling soon directed his attention to her sofa. She lay sprawled out, legs over the arm, hair down around her shoulders. She was giggling, and hadn't seemed to notice his presence yet. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, Zane rocked back on his heels and waited.

"Okay... sounds... awesome." Her dark eyes flashed towards him, and he licked his lips. "I... gotta go. Okay... Okay. I'll talk to you later. Can't wait. Okay, bye." His head snapped up. Had she really just _purred_? In the time it took for her to hang up her call, get off the sofa and return her phone to her desk, Zane noticed a number of things that were different.

The sight of her small, fragile-looking bare feet peeking out from beneath her slacks was enough to cause a niggling in the back of his brain that something was wrong. Add that she'd taken her hair out of her familiar, slick-backed, no business ponytail, and the niggling began to get worse. Pile on that she'd removed her jacket, untucked and undone the first three buttons on the top and the last three buttons on the bottom of her blouse, leaving only one holding her dark purple blouse closed, and suddenly that niggling feeling turned into a roar of panic.

"Um... hi." He raised his eyebrows as she took a seat at her desk, pulling her feet up and tucking them under her in her desk chair. "You're... 'First Date Guy', right?" She asked, narrowing her eyes. He nodded, taking a deep breath.

"Yeah. Yeah, I am that guy. Look." He moved to her desk, taking a seat across from her. "I... I just wanted to apologize for... for brunch. I was... I was nervous, and your friends being around weren't helping, and I was letting my mouth do the talking-"

"Well, that's what you're supposed to do. If your mouth doesn't do the talking, then there's no point in having conversation. Kind of pointless, don't 'cha think?" She asked, a smile tugging at her lips. He chuckled softly, feeling a gring tug at his own lips, and nodded.

"Yeah, you're right. Kind of pointless." They sat in silence for several minutes, before, "Um, Jo..." She looked up from the day planner she'd grabbed off her desk and pulled into her lap. "I was... wondering..." She waited, raising her eyebrows. "If we could..." He licked his lips. "If we could try again?"

"Try what again?" She stopped whatever she was doing to meet his eyes.

"Our first date." Her mouth dropped as she began to realize what he was implying.

"Oh, I... I don't think that's a good idea. The... the girls wouldn't want me to, and... they've made it... fairly clear that I'm not supposed to have anything to do with you-" Zane was up on his feet and at her side by the time she'd ducked her head and returned to whatever she was doing.

"Jo, I'm asking you, not your friends. I don't give a damn what they think." She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. "I want to take you out. Just the two of us, no one else, no one watching, no one keeping tabs, just us. Dinner, that's all I'm asking. Please. Let me make it up to you." A moment passed, before she raised her head, meeting his gaze. She seemed to think, and for a brief moment, the suspicion he was so used to was back, flitting through her dark eyes. She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes.

"Just us? This isn't a joke? You aren't gonna hurt me or... or do anything else I don't want?"

_I can't make any promises-_ He shook his head, nodding. "No joke. Just dinner. I won't hurt you, I promise. Scouts' honor." She narrowed her eyes further.

"You weren't a scout." He grinned, climbing to his feet.

"Thank you, Jo. I... I'll pick you up at seven." She nodded, turning back to her planner. He turned to go but stopped, seeing the blue-inked lopsided hearts she'd drawn about the page.


	13. Kiss Me, Beneath the Milky Twilight

**R****if****iuto: N****on**** Miriena**

**A/****N: Time for a little fixer-up... **

**Thanks to jarethismine for reviewing 12. **

"Allison?" The good doctor looked up, to see Jo standing in her infirmary.

"Jo, is... is everything all right? Are you okay?" She was on her feet instantly, taking the other worman's hand and leading her to a bed.

"I... I'm fine I just... I need some help."

"What kind of help?" She watched the younger woman bit her lower lip, before leading her back to her desk. Pulling out another chair, she took a seat. "Sit. Talk to me." Slowly, she did as told, and after a few moments of stammering and stuttering, she finally ground out,

"I... I'm going on a... date with... with the... the one with the blue eyes..."

"Zane?" She nodded. "He asked you out again? When?"

"In my office." She licked her lips. "And... and I was... wondering if you could help me."

"I'd be glad to, but with what?" Jo swallowed, glancing up at her.

"With something to wear."

* * *

"Jack! Carter!" Carter turned as Allison rushed to join him in the rotunda.

"What can I do for you, darling?" He asked, bowing dramatically. Allison slapped him gently on the shoulder.

"Stop it. I just talked to Jo." His blue eyes instantly filled with concern, and he craned his neck to see the Security Head duck down the hall.

"Is she all right? Is her-" He gestured in his usual Carter way to her head. "Is it gone? Does she remember?"

"No. Her amnesia is still around, it will probably be around for a while. Zane asked her out. She agreed. They're going out to dinner at seven, and she wants me to help her get dressed." Carter's eyes bugged, and he glanced around.

"What? But... but... but... but what about... Larry, Moe and Curly Sue?" He asked, using the nickname Zane had used to describe Jo's childhood friends. The sheriff had to agree that it fit them pretty well.

"Well that's just it. She said that Zane had told her that they made him nervous, and he didn't want to be around them this time. He's got something planned, but he won't say what. Just... told her that he'd pick her up at seven."

"Are we sure that's wise? Letting her go off with Zane alone?" Carter asked. He knew that the younger man wouldn't do anything to hurt Jo, but even so; he was still a male, and Jo was a beautiful woman, and alone... there were a hundred thousand scenarios that could go wrong.

"Jack, look, I trust him. He... he's had it rough, but... but he cares for Jo, I think he's even falling in love with her. Jo's been hurt too much. If I can help her get back some of the happiness she had before the accident-"

"Back in the old timeline, you mean." She nodded.

"Or even what they were starting to have here- if we can get that back, I think we should try. Jo lost everything. She deserves some happiness." Carter sighed, but after a moment, nodded.

"Okay."

* * *

"I'm going out for a walk." Rowley looked up from her book. Of all three, Rowley was the one closest to Jo in age and temperment. The two were best friends for a reason; they balanced each other out. Rowley had been the one driving the getaway car when she and Jo stole off in the middle of the night to drink and snag a few hits in high school. Rowley had been the one occupying Mr. Lupo with questions about where he was going to be stationed next as Jo slipped out her bedroom window and scaled the wall to the back lawn and her waiting blue Subarau. Rowley had been the one that sat in the driveway as Jo spun their intricate, complex lies to their parents and siblings, with stories of sleepovers and promises to be back the next morning, even as they'd plotted to pick Hertz and Blythe up before heading into Manhattan to go clubbing, or sneaking off with guys they'd met for makeout sessions or games of Truth or Dare. Of all three, Rowley had always been there; even when Hertz and Blythe were both forced to move with their parents to different bases, even when the Lupos moved up to Vancouver, Rowley was the one who looked out for Jo, who protected her. Even when the redhead got engaged to Brogan, and later suffered a very public breakup when he got caught cheating with a cocktail waitress, she still held her head high and focused on everyone else, not her own public humiliation.

Yes, Rowley was the mother hen.

"By yourself?" Jo turned back, pulling her jacket closer. She thought a moment, before nodding.

"Yeah. Just... gonna get some air." The redhead's hazel gaze moved up and down her friend suspiciously, before she returned to her book. Jo was lying, she knew it. But she also knew that if she pressed, Jo would shut down and never say another word to her. Better to let her be than press. Besides, the redhead had a small idea of where Jo was going, but couldn't even consider voicing it.

"Fine. Just be careful."

"Yes, Mom." Jo muttered, rolling her eyes as she pulled open the door and slipped outside. Once she was on the sidewalk, she rushed down the street towards the waiting motorcycle.

* * *

"So, where are we?" The area was silent; they stood at a little camp area, overlooking the Oregon forests and Mt. Eureka. Night had fallen, and Jo was partially worried that she'd made the wrong choice, agreeing to this date, but Zane seemed sure of himself. He'd set up a small tent, a picnic blanket, and a campfire before picking Jo up at Rowley's. As he finished laying everything out, he turned. Jo sat on the ledge, overlooking the forest, lost in thought. The evening stars winked overhead, and she turned her face towards them like a child, all wide-eyed wonder. When he'd gotten the text from Allison, telling him that she'd have Jo dressed and ready by seven, Zane hadn't been willing to accept that maybe the other time travelers wanted Jo to remember him.

But when he'd felt her slip her small arms around his waist, felt her head resting against his back, and then seen her standing by the light of the campfire not long after they arrived, dressed in a pair of curve-hugging jeans and a white cowlneck sweater that accented her body, her long dark hair down around her shoulders in glossy curls and her makeup minimal, he silently thanked Heaven that Allison and the others had agreed to help; for it was because of Henry and Fargo and Carter that he was able to pull this off. They'd gotten him the camping equipment-

"It's called Lookout Point." He replied, going to her and helping her to her feet. "Hope you're hungry." Her mouth dropped at the sight of the picnic laid out before them, campfire providing their only light.

"It all looks so good." As they settled down to eat, she asked, "But... why the campfire? What are we doing here?" He poured a glass of wine, handing it to her, before replying.

"We... are going to watch a meteor shower." She raised her eyebrows, mid-sip.

"Really?" He nodded.

* * *

"Look at that one! Look!" She reached out, pointing to one as it zipped by in the dark night. "And there's another one!" She giggled and began counting them.

"There's too many to count, you'll never-"

"You made me lose count!" She scolded, slapping him gently. He chuckled, shifting on the blanket and folding his arms behind his head. Moments passed, as they lay watching the meteor shower; the fire still burned strong, the scent of burning wood filling the air after their impromptu picnic. Dinner had been filled with jokes and stories, tales of growing up in either Boston or Jersey, of their various adventures before Eureka, their favorite things and their least favorite moments in the small town. "Wow. I've never seen anything so beautiful." He glanced at her, drinking in the look of amazement on her face as she stared up at the falling stars. She had never truly seen a meteor shower, and so wore a look of awe and breathtaking beauty at the sight before her.

"Yeah. It's absolutely amazing." She turned to look at him, and it was then that he realized he'd spoken aloud. She gave him a small, cautious smile before looking away. "I... I meant the... the shower..." She blushed. "Sorry."

"It's okay." She licked her lips, chancing a glance his way. He met her eyes, giving her a warm smile, and her blush only deepened. Without thinking, he reached down and took her hand, lacing their fingers, slowly, one by one. Her dark eyes shifted to their hands, and she licked her lips, nervous. Taking a deep breath, Zane gently tugged until their bodies touched; he turned to glance at her, her gaze moved back and forth, from the close proxminity of their bodies to their still-laced hands. They said nothing, just returned to watching the shower, but in the back of his mind, Zane was weighing the pros and cons of kissing her at that very moment.

Would she push him away? Slap him? Would she run? Or would she kiss him back? Old Jo probably would have slapped him, or tased him, but this one- the one who had no memory of him, and had agreed to another first date, another try, with him? What would she do? How would she react?

He swallowed his fear, shifting to face her. She turned to meet his gaze, and before she could say anything, he'd leaned over and captured her lips in a soft first kiss. She stiffened, reaching up and laying a hand gently on his chest to push him away. He broke the kiss before she could though, and bit his lip. This was new for him; this... taking things slow, gentle type of relationship. "Sorry." A blush colored her soft skin, and she whispered,

"It... it's okay." When he met her eyes again, it was to something he didn't recognize shining within those dark depths. After a moment, he kissed her again, just as gently, just as slowly. She didn't push him away; instead, she tangled her fingers around his shirt, pulling him closer. They lay beneath the dark night sky, sharing soft kiss after soft kiss, as the meteors fell and their wishes slowly began to come true.


	14. The Protector

**R****if****iuto: N****on**** Miriena**

This must be what experiencing your first crush felt like.

As she sat at the counter, lost in thought, she couldn't help the little thrill that ran through her body at the thought of their impromptu date over the weekend. They'd lain on the blanket and kissed under the stars for hours, before Zane finally decided that they needed some sleep, and pulled her towards the tent. And that's what they'd done. Zane'd kept his word to Carter that they wouldn't do anything, and they hadn't. Instead, she'd changed into the extra pair of pajamas he'd brought and curled up in his arms under the blankets. She'd woken up the next morning to the smell of coffee, and the sight of the sun rising over the mountains. They'd watched the sunrise before going for a hike and returning to town. Zane had dropped her off at Rowley's with a kiss and the promise to meet her for breakfast.

And now, she sat lost in thought, unaware that her whole world could come crashing down in minutes, if chosen too. For Rowley had been awake when Jo returned home; unable to sleep, she'd taken a shower, standing under the spray until the water ran cold and she began to shake. She'd woken up unable to breathe- the simple sound of her alarm going off had sent her into a panic attack- and she'd found herself back in combat, unable to shake the feeling of torture even when she was fully awake and in her own home. Jo had slipped into the house, come upstairs and found her in the bathroom, standing silent under the icy water. Rowley had instantly snapped out of it at Jo's gentle touch, asking Jo how her walk had been, without even realizing that it was early the next morning and Jo was just getting home. She'd later dropped Jo off at Cafe Diem before heading to the pharmacy, leaving Jo unaware that she'd run into Zane on the sidwalk.

When she looked up, Zane was slipping onto the stool beside her, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek in the process. She gave him a small smile that instantly vanished at the sight of agitation in his blue eyes. "What's wrong?" He glanced at her, shaking his head, silent. She reached out, slipping a hand onto his thigh. "Hey, what's a'matter?" He sighed, opening his mouth to speak, before Vincent set his cup before him. With a quick glance around, he grabbed the cup and stood, nodding towards the fireplace. She followed, taking a seat beside him on the sofa. The fire was warm, and, coupled with the coffee, heated her chilled bones.

"I ran into Rowley."

"Oh." She didn't say anything other than that, prefering to stare into her cup.

"Yeah." He sighed. "She... informed me that she... doesn't _approve_ of me keeping you out all night-" Jo's head snapped up.

"That's none of her-"

"But," Zane's even tone cut her off. "she also said that she's not going to try and stop me. Said that... you're an adult, and it's your decision. But that if I hurt you, I can look forward to becoming an unperson, and that no one would miss me." He chuckled softly. She reached down, taking his hand.

"I'd miss you." He met her eyes. It was such a simple statement, yet so powerful.

"Thanks." She gave him a small smile and took a sip of her drink, before getting up and pulling him from the cafe. As they left, Zane caught sight of Vincent jotting something down in the black binder he kept all his pools in. Most likely something to do with them- how long it would take before they slept together, possibly. Normally, Zane would seek to cross that particular thing off the 'To-Do list' as fast as he could, but... but with Jo the way she was, what with her memory of him gone... he wasn't going to risk it. He couldn't. Not when they had a real shot to get back what she'd had before coming to this new timeline. And if he got to see more of the shy, girly Jo, then damn right, he was going to take things slow. He had to win her trust, her love, one baby step at a time. _Because after walking comes running, and then no one will be able to stop us..._

Jo's voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he looked up as they walked towards the park. "Rowley comes off stern and disapproving, but she means well, she really does." She looked up, meeting his gaze.

"Really? So... threatening is her way of meaning well. Ah... good to know." Zane shook his head as they took a seat on a bench, watching the kids play.

"You have to understand, Gwen's three months older than me. She's six months older than Tam and nine months older than Lan. It's in her nature to protect us." She stopped, and chuckled, thinking about something. "That's why she'll make a wonderful mom someday. Because she already knows how to protect. She's been doing it since we were practically in diapers. It's just... it's just Gwen. She's always been like that, always will be."

"I... I just don't... I get that she wants to protect you- that they want to protect you- but... but you aren't a kid." He replied, turning to her. She took a sip of her drink, glancing around. "It's not their job to protect you. Look out for you, yeah, but protect you- no. You don't need protecting, you can protect yourself. You've always protected yourself." At this, Jo got up, tossing her empty cup into a trash can and making her way towards the swings. Zane followed after several minutes, taking a seat in the swing next to hers.

"You_ don't understand_." He waited, watching as she pushed herself slowly back and forth, feet dragging in the gravel. "She was always there for me." Tears began to choke her vocal chords, and she took a deep breath. "Whenever anything went wrong- which was most of the time- I could always count on Gwen."

"'Most of the'... Jo, I don't understand. You... you moved around yeah, but... but you had a good childhood..." She licked her lips, tears slipping from her closed eyes to race slowly down her cheeks. "You had a loving family- brothers and a dad and-"

"My dad was wounded in Operation Golden Pheasant." He furrowed his brow; she looked up at him, tears in her eyes.

"Oper-"

"It was a small battle that the U.S. got involved in with the Nicaraguans when they tried to invade Honduras in March of eighty-eight. He was with the three-thirteenth Battalion; hurt in the line of duty. Came home on May eighth, the week before my nineth birthday. He was hurt, but he scooped me into his arms and kissed me, even though he leaned on the car to steady himself." She sniffled. "Mom died five months later, on Halloween- she told us... to go trick-or-treating... kissed us all goodbye... closed the door and went upstairs..." Zane watched her draw designs in the sand with the toe of her shoe, as tears slipped down her cheeks. He sighed, letting her gather her bearings. "When we came back..." She took a deep breath. "Gwen had gone with us; Dad and her mom had taken us out, so my mom could rest... and went we got home... I... I went upstairs to share my candy with her..." She choked on her tears, on the memory.

_"Mama! Mrs. Winter said the other candy apple is for you-"_

"Take your time." She shook her head as the memory hit her full force; she didn't push Zane away as he reached out to lay a hand on her back.

"When I went into the bedroom... she was laying on the bed, on top of the covers... and there were pills and pillbottles _everywhere_..." Zane swallowed the horror; but even as he closed his eyes, he couldn't shake away the image that popped into his head at her words. "She'd overdosed, while we were out, asking for candy and showing off our costumes..." She sniffled. "The chemo wasn't working, so... she found an alternative. And I found her."

"Oh Jo-" He rubbed her back, and she shook her head, resting her forehead against the cool chainlink. Her gaze drifted down to the dirt, and it took several minutes before she said,

"Gwen never left my side. After the funeral, when we went back to school, over winter break... I could count on her, even when I thought I couldn't count on my dad." She inhaled slowly. "After my mom died..." She sniffled, reaching up and wiping the tears away. "I watched my dad_ struggle_ after my mom died. You know he held it together for my brothers and me, but... _every_ night, I watched him go through old photos and home movies, and... he just couldn't let her go. I'd wake up in the middle of the night, and go downstairs, and he'd be... sitting at the piano... playing the theme from _Swan Lake_... over and over and over again." She swallowed. "It was my mom's favorite ballet. We had... tickets for the week before Thanksgiving... we didn't go. While my dad... got lost in photos and movies of her... I hid at Gwen's. She... she didn't let anyone near me unless she knew they could be trusted. She helped me get through it." She looked up at him. "She's _always_ been there for me. She's _always_ protected me. And she always will..."

As Zane got up and gathered her in his arms, he began to understand why Rowley kept such a close eye on the raven-head. And while the protective older sister may have explained the redhead; it didn't explain either Hertz or Blythe. Zane had a feeling tha in order to understand them, he'd have to go to the source; if not the source, then the next best thing- Rowley herself.


End file.
